Advice, just for moms alone
Alone or not, I think that moms are hard-wired to just keep going...A purse strap breaks and you pull out a safety pin. A heel breaks and you pull out some superglue. A bad hair day and you throw it back into a scrunchy.
Then, your child scrapes his knee and you drop everything to hold them tight...Mom's kisses take away the pain.
At night, when you are alone with your thoughts, the doubts start creeping in.
If only I had...
That rat bastard...
When is it my turn to have no responsibility...
How did I end up a single mother after...
Maybe I'm not good enough...
No one understands...
It is easy to get stuck in that cycle of negativity, when moms are alone. You've got to shake it off. Here is some single parent advice, just for the ladies.
Read the book "Why men love Bitches"...I know, there are a lot of self-help books and you have no time to read...Make time for this one.
It will help you understand how you lost yourself along the way. You didn't just wake up a different person...it was a gradual process, that didn't seem like letting go.
It is an investment in your future. This book will help you with all future relationships.
Buy some slutty underwear...One of my friends has been divorced for 10 years. Her ex-husband cheated on her while she was pregnant.
Amongst the grief and self-doubt, her mother brought over a bag of cheap slutty underwear. She was aghast...but her mom sat down and explained.
You need to feel attractive again...Just to build your confidence back up.
The point wasn't to BE a slut, just to feel attractive and desirable again. It could be a nice pare of earrings, a pedicure, or a new hair cut. Every once in a while, you need to feel like a woman again.
Schmucko called today...It was about 7pm on a Saturday night. My girlfriend and I were on our way out for dinner and a drink...Somewhere in the conversation, my ex-husband came up.
I told her that "schmucko called today" and she promptly chastised me. She said that by referring to him by different names showed that I was still in a resentment phase.
Well, I am.
...Not everyday...but that day I was.
I do my best to keep a positive attitude. Most days I'm just fine...It's not even trying...I just have too much else to do, to waste time dwelling on pain.
But every once in a while, schmucko calls and I need to be angry.
The divorce process is a process. You will go through ups and downs. And as time goes by, there will be more and more time between the angry days.
My girlfriend was right. You can start the healing phase by talking to (or about) your ex like a human being...when YOU are ready and not a day before.
Skip the chick flix...Ok, I used to like Sex in the City, when I was single and not a care in the world. I finally got around to seeing the movie (I was too busy the first 2 months it was out!).
My girlfriend and I met up for appetizers before the movie. We had both had a rough day...and we're both a little pissed off at our exes right now. Add some PMS and a Top Shelf Margarita...and it made for a magical evening to go see Sex in the City.
There were some very funny parts to the movie, but one guy is cheating and one guy can't make it to the altar. Come on.
It hit a little close to home. We laughed it off as riddiculous, but we both had swollen eyes at the end of the movie.
So, do yourself a favor. Skip the chick flix that are going to remind you how painful love can be and send you home thinking about him.
Put on your best booty jeans (you know THAT pair)...go get a couple of margaritas and shoot pool.
You are worth a lot more than you give yourself credit for. Dig around a little bit and find that fire you used to have. It might just be a candle flame right now, but in a little while...It'll be a bon-fire worthy of a tail-gate party!
PS: More links to advice for moms alone below.
Positive Parenting and the message you send...
Make healthy choices, don't be a 'caffeinated mom.'
If you have advice for moms alone, click here to email me your thoughts.
Return to Single Parent Home Page