Single Parents Coping with Borderline Personality Disorder
There is something wrong...
Something that you can't quite put your finger on...
Most of the time things seem OK. Even picture perfect, at least from the outside looking in.
Then there is a storm of emotion that erupts, hurting everyone in the path. You are shocked and don't really understand what just happened.
Living with a Borderline can be challenging. Living with a Borderline and not understanding the underlying issues can be devastating.
My ex-husband sought professional help before we met, but I don't think he ever understood what was wrong...or perhaps the stress of everyday life pushed him into a relapse. I spent several months after my separation trying to understand what went wrong.
In counseling sessions, the term Borderline Personality Disorder came up. While I am no longer married to a Borderline, I still have to live with him and the effects of his disorder through our child.
During the worst times, there were intense mood swings... temper tantrums... impulsive behavior. Ultimately, he became so distant, I didn't even know him.
I watched a video from the Florida Borderline Personality Disorder Association called "Back from the Edge." It was interesting to put faces to the stories and hear similarities.
I couldn't help but think... That is exactly how I felt as a 15-year old in school. We all must have gone through similar feelings, but some people can't pull through on their own.
Is it treatable? Is it social? Is it physical?
I've read different perspectives. I won't pretend to completely understand the science. However, with any illness / disorder, the patient has to decide they want to overcome it and seek treatment.
As a single parent, you will have to deal with the emotional toll that this takes on your children. For your reference, Surviving a Borderline Parent: How to Heal Your Childhood Wounds & Build Trust, Boundaries, and Self-Esteem is an excellent book to keep on hand. The most important thing that you can do for your child is to provide a stable, loving environment. You can't control the rest of the world - but you can BE the positive influence.
Good Luck and Happy Parenting!
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